Walking Through Doubt on the Spiritual Path

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey everyone, on this week's episode of Whispers from the Mist, Conversations from the Spiritual Byway, we are going to be talking about something that can quietly show up on any path of growth, and that's imposter syndrome. As I stepped into recording this podcast, I was trying to bridge the space left by Carissa, and I found myself questioning my voice and even stepping away from my authenticity for a moment. So, today we're reflecting on how these moments arise, especially on a spiritual path, and how we gently find our way back to ourselves. Let's get the episode started.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Hello, everybody, and welcome to this week's episode of Whispers from the Mist.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

Conversations from the Spiritual Byway. Michelle's got me. I got you. Well, you paused and I'm like, is she trying to remember the rest of our podcast?

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Yes, that happened. It went in one year and out the other, and my brain just froze. So that's what happens with us. And as as is demonstrated, it I'm Stacey, and with me is Michelle.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

Yes. No, Stacy, that's so funny. I do not blame you because that is a really long podcast title. And on socials, it is just whispers from the mist.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Well, and to be fair, stepping into our com our our topic for for today, that could not have actually been more perfect because we are talking about imposter syndrome today. And I just forgot our podcast title.

SPEAKER_00 1:32

I don't even know what to say other than I know you're not an ap imposter, but I think this is a great topic today. And it started very genuinely. Like this wasn't the topic we were originally gonna do today, but it's based off a conversation you and I had via text and then a phone call.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:52

And so I'm just gonna share very quickly that, you know, we've had a lot of transition around the podcast lately.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

And we went from having three cups to two of us present. And Carissa's very much missed.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:06

And Carissa brought an energy to the podcast. She brought information to the podcast and she brought a way of doing things to the podcast that added value. So with her stepping out and us two stepping in, we're trying right now to figure out what this all looks like. And for me, I'm like, how do I feel her shoes? And I sent you a message and said, lately I feel like such an imposter. I think I have imposter syndrome when it comes to the podcast because I've been doing podcasts for a long time. I generally think I know how to talk and carry a conversation, but I'm not trusting myself. I'm having to go and take a bunch of notes trying to fill in the gap between spiritual and psychological. And it's just making me crazy. And that's where the conversation started.

SPEAKER_01 2:59

Absolutely. And I know I read the text message that you sent me, and I didn't even respond via text. I actually called you immediately. And we had a, it wasn't like a super crazy long conversation, but it was a brief and and we were able to kind of work through it a little bit because when you are working through loss, it doesn't matter what kind of loss it is, you kind of step into overcompensating or undercompensating very, very naturally. I think it's it's a human, human capacity to deal with with change and forward movement. And I know one of the things that we had talked about is the utilization of like Chat GBT and notes. And I had said to you, Michelle, I know it feels like imposter syndrome, but you have to remember that even with utilizing these tools, you're still sharing your story at the core. So whatever Chat GBT, for example, comes up with, or whatever your notes say, as long as you're going back to you at the core, then you're not an imposter.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Exactly. And you know, what I would have ChatGPT do is we would work together on establishing an outline. Like, this is what I want to talk about. These are the things I want to talk. Build me an outline and then I go research it. And then I would have Chat GPT help me organize that into an outline, but it would write statements, not bullet points. So it was very much throwing me off because I'm like, I don't want to read this. I want to have a natural conversation. And somehow the idea of reading and natural, they don't come together for me. And so I have been really struggling to find my way here. And I think the thing that you said in that conversation that was such an aha moment is you said to me, Michelle, are you making up any of your spiritual experiences? Are you exaggerating them? Are those not authentic? And I said, no, all of those are authentic. And I can a hundred percent say with certainty, not made up. And I don't know why that hit me so hard, but I almost wanted to get defensive about like that too. Like, no, I'm not saying that because that would make me a fraud or something. And that's not who I am. And that's not exactly what I was experiencing. It's just, I don't know how to deal with the change, the transition.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

Right. And that, and that kind of prompted the conversation of, you know, you and I have always been able to carry on conversations and chat and do, you know, our our own kind of similar viewpoints and share, you know, opposing viewpoints even. And I said, we just need to be us. And when we step into these conversations and we are authentic to who we are, it will prompt things to have forward movement. Because, you know, I find imposter syndrome, and I've experienced it new many times, many times in my life. And and particularly when I tell people I'm a psychic medium, you know, I immediately will get one of two reactions. Is there somebody near me? Or I don't really believe in that. You know, it's one extreme or the other. It's it's and it and to me, it's very enjoyable because, you know, I've I've just grown used to the the challenge. But I I was talking to somebody actually this past weekend, and he said, you know, I really don't believe in that, that, those things. And I looked at him very honestly and I said, but you don't have to. I said, you don't, you don't have to step into believing in anything that that I experience. I said, but I will tell you that I've had enough experiences that I do believe. And if you want to have an open conversation, we can have one. But I'm not going to defend my experiences to someone who just adamantly doesn't believe these things happen.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

And I love that you turned it into let's have an honest conversation about it that feels very authentic to who you are. You're not defending anything. You're just saying, well, I know my experiences, they were true, they happened. We can discuss it or we cannot. Let's find something else. And that's so authentic to you.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

Well, and and I think like for me, I've I've been a reader for 25 years. That's a really high number.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

It's a lot of years, but you're not a lot of years old. So most of your life.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

Yeah. Well, I started reading at 13. So I've been reading for 25 years and I've had many different experiences over the years that I've been doing it. So when we jump into, you know, conversations around imposter syndrome, it's really easy because I remember when I first started reading, I would sit there with my tarot cards and I would follow the book directions and do the um readings designed by the book. And then I would go through the book and read the interpretations of each card. And I remember losing one of those books and not knowing what to do. And that's where I actually learned how to read was by losing the direction book that came with a deck of cards. And that's kind of that has formed my reading ability since that point in time. And it's interesting because I could never retain, even when I was reading the by the book verbatim, I could never retain what the cards historically meant. So I thought I was an imposter because I didn't, I didn't have them memorized. I didn't have each individual card, you know, memorized verbatim. So I for a very long time was like, well, I'm not real because I'm not reading the actual meaning of the cards. Lo and behold, what I learned in, again, many years is the way I read is authentic to me and my understanding of spiritual, the spiritual world. And so the interpretations that I make of the cards are very, very connected for me and usually a lot more accurate because I'm gathering the information in kind of a, I don't want to say like a trance like state, but I'm I'm meditating and I'm stepping into this spiritual space where I'm getting the information. And so I was able to learn that it's not imposter, like I wasn't an imposter. I was being authentic to how I understood the world and how I understood spirituality.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

Exactly. Again, stepping into authenticity. And I think when I first started opening up spiritually and wanting to have these conversations and wanting to find my people that I could talk to about this, because in everyday life, that wasn't an option really, because you're gonna get the looks, you're gonna get the what? You do what your what? And I did not know how to deal with it. So even before I said it out loud, that imposter syndrome set in. And I'm like, why me? Why do I feel this way? This isn't really happening, this isn't really for real. And then I had to sit with that for a minute. And I think we've talked about this in a previous episode. I can go back to my upbringing, I can go back to my early years, and I've always been this way. I just thought everybody else was like me. Right. So now that I'm able to put words around it and to say, I'm an intuitive, I'm a psychic medium, I have these experiences. I now feel like they've always been there. And I'm now just getting to the point where I'm comfortable and know myself enough to know that I'm not an imposter. I'm not making this up. This is how I experience my life. And it is so freeing.

SPEAKER_01 11:07

Well, I think too, we have to have these moments as well. And I know that sounds weird where we step back and we look at kind of our view of the world and this idea of is this really real? Is this really happening? Is this really a part of me? Is this who I am? And and it's not just with spirituality, it comes with, you know, education. It comes with, you know, living in different areas of life. You know, I I hold personally, I hold a master's of psychology. And I don't like sometimes I forget that I busted my butt to get that degree because I'm choosing to live an authentic life that that is authentic to myself. But then someone will ask me a question and I'll know the answer and I'll, you know, immediately step into the psychological response that we're talking about and coping skills and, you know, you name it, like I very, very quickly because I spent so long earning that. But then I'm like, where did that come from? Was that real? Should I do more research? Am I giving them good information? And, you know, I think imposter syndrome comes from all areas like that. I know I've talked to RNs, nerd registered nurses who are like, you know, I have this, this, I have this degree, I have this, you know, license, and I don't know if I should have it. Not because they're not educated and they don't know what they're doing, but because it feels different.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

Does that make sense? It does. Before you even started talking, I was like, a college degree. When they hand you that diploma and you're like, are you sure you're even handing it to the right person now? Are you sure they're not college credits missing or something that's gonna take this away from me? Right. And, you know, I always looked at like college degrees and accomplishments like that in my life. It's something that I earned that people aren't gonna be able to take away from me. And so they kind of quietly build into who I am. But yeah, there was that imposter pushback there to like you just you kind of forget.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

And it's not, you know, it's you know, I guess in the past we've had conversations about, you know, education and licensures and degrees. And it's very interesting because I I look at it as you you meet people in in many different ways, right? So you meet individuals who very much so stand behind what they have and what they hold. And the difference in introduction is, you know, for me, it's, you know, hi, my name is Stacy. And if you want to know more about me, like we can have a conversation. Where I find that people can also utilize their background as a sword. And it's it's very outspoken. Hi, my name is Stacey. I have a master's of psychology and I'm a psychic medium. Like you just the difference in introduction kind of shows you where people are in their lives. And when I was working on my PhD, I net like I would joke around with people, like, you're gonna call me doctor. Like, that's gonna happen. You're totally gonna just call me doctor. But it was always in a playful manner because I never viewed education as a sword. I never viewed what I am or what I can do as a sword. It's a part of me, and we can have a conversation around it. But at the end of the day, my name is Stacey. And if if you want to get to know me from there, like we can talk, but I don't need to present what I have or what I have done to demonstrate my personality. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 14:43

It does. And I love that you just shared that. And I have so many things running through my mind, but they're like hamsters. I can't grab one. But it it did really speak to me what you just said, and getting back to the imposter syndrome and trying to change something in order to bring about something that you perceived as better is not always authentic to who you are. I mean, I know I'm sitting there, I'm like, I've been podcasting a long time, but I'm not proclaiming to be the best at it. I'm not proclaiming that I can't change and I can't grow in that area. And so I think that's a big part of being authentic to who I am too, is like you said, I don't go lead. Like I'm Michelle, I'm a podcaster and a psychic medium. I'm just Michelle. I'm a pod and like Lincoln. And I have a podcast, and we can have a podcast, and it brings me joy to my heart and it excites me. So yeah, spiritual or imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is just a way we beat ourselves up and try to keep ourselves. I don't even know if it's keeping ourselves humble. I think it's keeping ourselves small. I I think it's protection.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

It is, it is protection because I think when you step into that fear of authenticity or fear of what if I do something and I mess up, or what if I'm not 100% accurate, or what if, what if, like what just what if, we immediately feel that imposter syndrome, like, ooh, maybe I shouldn't have made that call. Maybe I shouldn't have said X, Y, Z. When in reality, that information comes to the forefront very naturally. And again, I keep using the word authentic authenticity and authentically, but it's when we so naturally step into our who we are, the titles and stuff like that kind of don't matter anymore because we are being true to ourselves. And that's where, you know, I think we can easily step into again using what we are, who we are, where we are as a sword. You know, again, hi, my name is Stacy, and I have a podcast. Hi, my name is Stacy, I'm a Reiki master teacher. Hi, like we can do and say all of these things to puff up our chests, but in reality, hi, my name is Stacy. I want to get to know you.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

That's it. Yeah, it keeps it so incredibly humble. And again, thinking back to where this episode started, feeling like an imposter in our own podcast just because things have changed. I mean, there was that time where I felt like I was an imposter in my life because I wasn't being authentic to myself. Right. So you have to figure out how to quiet those words, quiet your doubts, quiet your fear. And a lot of that is really stepping into being authentic and also those higher vibrational energies that support you and knowing that messing up, that's part of the journey. Finding balance, that's part of the journey. And it's the part of the journey that I love. It's the meat, it's the everything in between the dot and the dot.

SPEAKER_01 17:52

Yeah. And and at the end of the day, I think, you know, one of the things that that I have learned is because I have, you know, a bunch of really cool titles behind, you know, I can introduce myself however I want. I don't know anything at the end of the day. I don't know anything. Everything changes, everything evolves. So even though I have these cool things that I've done, I am still a student of the universe and I know nothing. And so while I love having conversations and learning, that's where I like to have conversations and learn from other people because it keeps me in a space of I don't know everything and I don't want to.

SPEAKER_00 18:31

Yeah, it keeps you humble. It keeps you grounded. Again, all those higher vibrational energies. I know when I started stepping into my authentic self and seeing myself as true in this form rather than an imposter in my life, anxiety started to fall away. It became like background noise. All those things that used to cure keep me up at night, fear, be became background noise. And it's such a gift to self to finally say, I'm not necessarily owning my space, but I am. Like not owning it like I know all the answers, but I'm owning it, I'm accepting it, and this is who I am. And everything from there flows so much more naturally. Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

And and so much more easy. And it feels better. There's such a grounding feel to it because I mean, at at the end of the day, you know, we can use titles, we can use degrees, we can use all of these labels that we have to explain, you know, who we are, what we do. But I want to know you on an energetic level. How do you make me feel when I'm with you? Do you make me want to open up? Do you make me want to share parts of myself that perhaps, you know, I don't get to talk about very often? Or do you make me want to just listen and learn about you?

SPEAKER_00 19:56

Or do you shut me down completely? Do you make me want to cover my ears, run away screaming? Right. Right. That can happen too.

SPEAKER_01 20:03

Yeah, oh yeah. Yeah. Where where is my energy when when I'm sharing space with you? Are you just consistently challenging me and my belief system, which doesn't feel good after a while? Or are you taking an opportunity to get to know who I am too?

SPEAKER_00 20:16

Yeah. I was in a conversation the other day and a person was talking about her mediumship abilities and how sometimes when she's out and about, say a spirit drops in or says hi, and she will tell whoever she's with, if it comes through, that, hey, I have a spirit here. And I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about that. If you don't know the person, I mean, you might really freak them out. Or if you do know the person and they know that this is part of you, it would hit differently.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

What do you think? So I'm a permission person. I tend to not share unless I know I have permission from the person to share. So if I'm if I'm out uh in public or if I'm out in a space and I see something and experience something that I feel like I should speak to, I like, I absolutely prefer to give that person a choice. So, hi, you know, I do have this ability. I am noting a spirit is coming through. Do I have your permission to share with you the information that's coming through with it? And if they say yes, I move forward. If they say no, then it's their choice. And, you know, I feel like it's it's almost the ethical answer there.

SPEAKER_00 21:36

Which are so important. That's part of our whole journey is to learn to be ethical around this and not eavesdrop into someone's mind or like um give information we're not supposed to give.

SPEAKER_01 21:51

So Yeah. It's very true. I mean, I I have had an experience where I was at a restaurant and my guide really pushed me hard to. give the hostess a crystal that I was wearing. Cause you sometimes that happens where my guide is like, you don't need this anymore. This person needs it. And I went up to the hostess and I said, you know, my name is Stacy. I I have these abilities. I'm getting some information that I feel like I need to share with you, but I want your permission first. And she said, Absolutely. So I shared with her what came through and I gave her the crystal. And she had to take a break. She had to step away from her position as a hostess because it hit very hard. She was able to go back to work and she actually came back to me and and thanked me profusely. But getting that permission while somebody is particularly in a space of like a public space is so vital because you could ruin their day without realizing it.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

Not only the public space, but also their emotional space. Where is their head space? I mean they could be just at the grocery store and you see them and you bring information about someone who just passed away and they are such in grief. They're not going to be able to hear it and upset them. Or there was a bad relationship with that spirit that you have no idea about and the spirit is very much pushing, pushing, pushing, but it'll do detriment to the person.

SPEAKER_01 23:17

And that's key. That is such a key statement is is you have to allow people to be with their peace too. And sometimes people aren't ready to hear certain messages and and we have to honor that.

SPEAKER_00 23:28

Yeah. So how do we deal with this imposter syndrome, both in everyday life and in the spiritual world too.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

I would say just do your best to be authentic to yourself. And you know, like our conversation was the other day, stepping into it and and realizing that you're not making things up that you're sharing your truth with with the world is the biggest key point is going back to is this my truth? Is this my truth or am I embellishing, am I making it up? Because bare bones, if it's your truth, then you're not an imposter, right?

SPEAKER_00 24:02

That's so true. And I know spiritually not an imposter everything I've said, I have experienced it. I'm recalling it to the best of my ability and I'm here to share because we want to normalize these things. As for the podcast, again, I've been doing it a long time and just because there is a shift or a change, I shouldn't necessarily mean that I have to shift or change or to step into someone else's shoes. Yeah. So I think that's going to take a little time to work through. So I'm just so happy that I have you here to bounce that off of and to kind of find some clarity along the way. I mean spiritual podcasts aren't just about the spiritual part. They're about the emotional body. They're about the physical body and the human experience. The human self because you are a spirit having a human experience and you're learning every step of the way.

SPEAKER_01 24:58

Absolutely and that's and that I think that's the biggest key point and key takeaway is we are having we are spiritual beings having a human experience. Regardless of what spiritual avenue or spiritual belief system you step into, you can be atheist and that's still a form of spirituality in in a way. It's kind of more denial that it's existing, but that's still spiritual it it Christian, Catholic, Buddhist you know it it just it doesn't it doesn't matter because you are here to experience the human aspects of life and I think just honoring those experiences that you have and being true to yourself is key. And and I always tell people you know as as a life coach when I'm working with a client that has encountered a major life event where perhaps they're fighting with somebody that they're really close to, they share their story with me. And one of my favorite things to dive into is you have to remember there are three sides to every story your side, my side and the truth. And it typically falls somewhere in the middle because our perspectives no matter where we are, who we are, where we come from are going to be extremely different every single time.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

That's true. And you know I have just started and I'm so excited to announce it'll be a while before it comes out putting together an Oracle deck. Ooh and one of the lessons that I just wrote yesterday had to do about all the different experiences us as a human being get to have and how each come in and I saw them kind of as like a compartment and become part of your larger story. And because of all the different things coming in and shaping you, your viewpoint is never going to be the same as somebody else's viewpoint. And you may walk in the room and the first thing you're drawn to is the color of the room where someone else who has a totally different experience is drawn to the people in the room. Nobody else is ever going to see the world like you do.

SPEAKER_01 27:05

Exactly. And that's what makes our our experiences so so vital to this idea of of imposter syndrome too is because as long like you know I keep saying it but as long as we are being honest with ourselves we can't be an imposter in our own lives.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

Yeah. And I, you know, I knew that but I knew something was going on because I felt it in my core. I'm like this doesn't feel like you the flow doesn't feel like you because the conversation isn't going like it normally goes. And so then I had to take a deeper look in and I'm like oh that's what it is. I'm trying to fill a void that I'm feeling but one that we're still becoming, you know, it's going to shift naturally I don't have to be the bridge.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

Right. Right. And and I think, you know, speak because I know you're speaking directly to this podcast and all of the shifts that that have taken place I I think we're going to see this podcast develop very differently. And and what I'm actually truly looking forward to is is guests because I know one of the things that you and I talked about is having guests on the show. And and our guests don't have to be people with spiritual backgrounds. They can be a listener that wants to share a story that they have, you know and and I think our ability to shape it to be what it becomes is it's it's truly going to be beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 28:31

It is and that is the part of the byway because we are just walking our everyday lives we're not always in search of something but things get put on our path and people have stories to share and they're excited about them and they need somewhere to put them and so yeah I love that.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:50

Yeah. It's a stop along the spiritual byway that's life. Yep. And I already have talked to a couple people so I have some things out there for guests. So I'm really excited. I have a lot of ideas too.

SPEAKER_01 29:03

Yeah I I have I too have some feelers out there as well. But you know it's it's all gonna unfold like I said it's going to unfold the way it's supposed to and and I think I'm I'm more excited about that than anything.

SPEAKER_00 29:14

So so I'm releasing it. I'm releasing that feeling of being an imposter in my own life. I know how to do this. I know how to have a conversation I just need to be true and authentic to who I am.

SPEAKER_01 29:25

Yeah. And who you are is a beautiful person. So there's nothing to be worried see my hair right now. I'm sorry do you see mine?

SPEAKER_00 29:34

I don't know. We're just going to continue having fun and growing and giving people a voice if they want one. Yeah.

unknown 29:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:42

Well I do have two questions to leave the listeners with. Let's hear them. In regards to imposter syndrome. The first one would be where do you feel like an imposter in your life? And the second one is how do you talk to yourself about this feeling? What kind of care can you give yourself?

SPEAKER_01 30:04

Those are great questions. Yeah, then you want to add I just I'm I would be very curious to learn what helps our listeners get through imposter syndrome when they have those moments of doubt. That's perfect. Full circle. Yeah just like this episode.

SPEAKER_00 30:23

Yeah it's beautiful. Okay well with that Stacy do you want to close this episode out? Absolutely stay curious. Trust what you notice and we will see you along spiritual byway. Until next time. Bye everybody thank you so much for listening to this conversation spiritual by the show enjoying the spotcast we're going to share the show with someone who might need it. Thank you so much for taking the time to be here with us and walking the stretch of the spiritual five. Wherever you are on your journey right now, just know you're not alone. We're here for you and we're all in this together.